


Broken Hearts

by Summerwolf



Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Depressed Peter Parker, Everyone Misses Tony Stark, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Misses Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Sad Peter Parker, Spiderman's identity is known, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Whumptober 2020, dead tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27104767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summerwolf/pseuds/Summerwolf
Summary: Whumptober day 19 - Grief, Mourning A Loved One, Survivor's Guilt.---Peter rolled out of bed, his feet hitting the floor first as the rest of his body did it's best to not follow. He hated getting up in the mornings, hated waking up to spend another day, just so that he could be one day closer to his inevitable demise.What was the point anymore?
Relationships: Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946926
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65
Collections: Spider-Man Public Identity Reveal, Whumptober 2020





	Broken Hearts

Peter rolled out of bed, his feet hitting the floor first as the rest of his body did it's best to not follow. He hated getting up in the mornings, hated waking up to spend another day, just so that he could be one day closer to his inevitable demise.

What was the point anymore?

He had May, but he was self aware enough to know that she would be so much better off without him in her life. So much safer without the newly outed Spiderman stuck in her life. It didn't matter if no one had attacked them yet. It was a when, not an if, kind of situation and Peter refused to let May get caught up in it.

He had his friends, but then again the same thing applied to them as applied to May. They deserved better than some stupid spider who could barely roll himself out if bed in the morning. He was nothing but a burden to them, always dragging the mood down in the same way he was dragging his feet as he headed into the kitchen to grab breakfast.

Who else did he have?

Tony was dead, the Avengers probably wanted nothing to do with him - honestly he didn't know, he had been too scared to approach them ever since Tony's funeral. And other than that it was just Peter.

It should have been him. He had never said it out loud, knowing that it was just one more emotional burden he didn't want to drop onto everyone else's backs. Tony should be the one still alive, still standing and enjoying life and saving the world, but he wasn't. Instead he was gone, and Peter remained.

He did not deserve to be here when Tony didn't get to be.

Peter dragged himself through his Saturday morning routine, thanking every god that he didn't believe in that May was at work, and wouldn't have to sit back and look worried as Peter fell deeper and deeper into the dark hole that had opened up inside of him.

His phone buzzed on the table, rattling in that annoying way that phones did, reminding Peter that he had forgotten to return it to silent last night, after he had started blasting music to try and fight back against the silence which filled his head.

It was a text from one of the group chats he was on, one with Suri and Harley and him which was labeled "Stark's Legacy" though Peter had yet to decide if they all deserved that title yet. Tony had changed Harley's life, and Shuri was basically just female Tony - she had only met him a couple of times but he had still basically adopted her on sight. Peter on the other hand, he was just a mess, and definitely didn't deserve to be remembered as anything to do with Tony.

Peter felt like a waste of space, like he took up more than he gave back, and he hated it.

He flipped his phone over without checking what the message said. That message was for one of Stark's legacies, and Peter was not one of them.

Throwing his half eaten bowl of overly soggy cereal into the trash, Peter stood up, unable to stand being alone with his thoughts any longer. He was fine, everything was fine. He would just get some air, worry about the rest later.

Wouldn't it be better if no one ever had to worry about him? If he stopped using up more than his fair share of worrying friends and family and- and- and what? What would he do? He was nothing anymore, a teenager beneath a mask who used to be a friend of Tony's, but would never be able to fill anything close to the shoes he had left behind.

Pulling his suit and mask on, even though it didn't really do much now that everyone knew who he was anyway, Peter climbed out the window, crawling up the building and desperately hoping that if he went high enough he would be able to escape everyone else.

He just wanted to be anonymous, in the busy world, or just one second. Once upon a time, he used to be able to put the mask on and be just that. People would say hi, maybe stop for a chat, they would know he was Spiderman, but while wearing the mask he wasn't Peter anymore. No one knew who he was, he was just Spiderman, someone to trust, not someone to know.

That was gone now.

Now people saw a red flash swinging through the streets, and they didn't think Spiderman. They thought Peter Parker. Everyone knew who he was, and no matter what he did, he couldn't escape that.

He didn't consciously end up at Tony's statute, didn't consciously end up anywhere, but that was where he found himself, perched high up on Tony's shoulder where for just one moment - one precious moment - it felt like he was safe again. Like Tony was back and hiding him from the world, just like he had done for so long before this.

"Hey Mr Stark." His voice cracked as he started speaking, disuse and unreleased sobs working together to make him sound like the pubescent teenager he honestly still was. Why couldn't anyone else get that? He was a child, a fucking child, and yet to them he was just one more unmasked superhero they believed owed them everything. "It's been a while hasn't it." When the statue was first built Peter had visited often, nearly every day to be honest, at least once a week, but in the last few months he'd been swamped by his life, and hadn't quite managed to gather up the emotional strength to come and visit Tony, even if it was just a statue in his likeness.

And wasn't that just stupid.

Peter needed to gather emotional strength to come and sit near a statue.

It was just… Tony was gone, and yet Peter still stood. Still swung. Still pretended that he deserved to still exist.

Peter was still here while all Tony had left was a statue with his face.

"Hey kid." For a moment Peter's brain almost managed to trick him into believing that it was Tony speaking, Tony back from the dead, no matter how different the voice sounded.

"Hello Steve," Peter sighed, shifting in his perch just enough to see down to where Steve was standing, flanked by Nat and Bucky.

"Do you want to come back to the tower?" Bucky asked, fiddling with his hoodie drawstrings and adjusting the tightness of the hood as he stared up at Peter, still standing with that slight awkwardness he seemed to have carried since being rescued.

"I don't want to impose," Peter sighed, leaning back against Tony's statute and just waiting for them to move on, like everyone always did.

"Wouldn't be an imposition," Nat laughed, as though everything was normal, "we want to have a movie night, but they're just not right without you." The  _ without Tony  _ went unspoken in the air, but they all heard it anyway, the same sense of loss flowing through all of them, no matter their differences.

"I'll just drag the mood down," Peter started, "you'll be better off-" he never got to finish, Steve's 'I am Captain America and you will listen to me' voice cutting over him before he could continue.

"Come on kid, Stark would kill us if he knew we were leaving you alone after everything that happened. You don't want us to have to deal with that do you?"

Peter knew he was just pretending Peter would be doing them a favour in order to get him to agree, but it was kind of working, and he had missed movie nights, and without even fully deciding to, he was agreeing, swinging down from Tony's shoulders and walking back to the Avengers tower with them.

He missed Tony, felt his loss like a physical pain pressing on his ribcage, but he wasn't alone, and with all of them missing Tony together, was he really gone?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!!  
> Have an awesome week!!  
> Comments and Kudos make my day!!!


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